Minneapolis à Moi: A Polyglamourous Witch's Tryst List
The Histories and some curious Anecdotes of the most celebrated Tinder adventures now on the town or having visited from out of town.
Minneapolis: Fall 2019 Edition
Mr. A. of Trinidad & Tobago
“We have men of talent and skill.”
—Portrait of Trinidad, The Mighty Sniper
A gentleman and career artisan of decolonizing type, lacking entirely in the tension of stateside niggas, and a brilliant conversationalist, Mr. A’s talented mouth can make you cum unrestrained to his native paradise. A tall and slim daddy of middling height, let his stature deceive you not. For what he “lacks” in vertical height, he makes up inch for inch in horizontal pleasing. Mr. A is unflinchingly bisexual, as such is quite amenable to the queer lover’s touch and pronouns, and is not afraid of being emotionally available for however long or short your acquaintance. A delight to taste and be tasted by, Mr. A is one of a kind and a can’t miss if you find yourself either at his side or on the edge of his Air B&B bed.
Mx. Yacoub of Saint Paul
“There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”
If submission is what you seek, look no further than Mx. Yacoub, a pleasure of excellent and Islamic magnitude. This black, genderfluid, polyamorous, kinky, believer will cleanse the Jehannum of white, cis-het, christian, faux dom taste from your tongue and bring you to the heights of Jannah with theirs. A large and gentle presence with the mystique and magic of a jinn, Mx. Yacoub will have you vacillating wildly between the judgement of their hands to the justice of their mouth. Latex, panty play, and kink of all kinds are revealed and rules on consent are recited with each visit. If it is sunnah to spend in the way of Allah, rest assured in your blessings, for Mx. Yacoub will have you absolutely spent.
Mr. E. of North Minneapolis
“You can forget ya keys or ya wallet, the first girl ya kissed, hell- even my birthday, but you'll never forget me.”
-100 Bullets, Brian Azzarello
Mr. E is our second Muslim and our final listing overall, but in intelligence he is second to none here entered. Shy in the day to day, but super powered after hours, time passed in conversation over comic book literature and public policy is the core of this sweet superhero’s romantic attention. Mr. E is a 10 gem mint public servant of the highest caliber, but was born and remains an artist. In looks, Mr. E is much like a first edition trade of Neil Gaiman’s Sandman--Gorgeous, thick, and ready. His mindful hands reveal the utmost beauty of all that lay before them. Mr. E is talented, versatile, and so mmm, DAMN attentive no matter the medium, be it sheets of paper or sheets of jersey-cotton blend.